Saturday, May 23, 2009

books

Finish master and margarita, rant, the art of prayer.

Monday, April 20, 2009

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http://uncutmountain.com/uncut/docs/bpartemy_soc.pdf

Saint Nikolai Velimirovic

Bless my enemies, O Lord. Even I bless them and do not curse them.

Enemies have driven me into your embrace more than friends have.

Friends have bound me to earth, enemies have loosed me from earth and have demolished all my aspirations in the world.

Enemies have made me a stranger in worldly realms and an extraneous inhabitant of the world. Just as a hunted animal finds safer shelter than an unhunted animal does, so have I, persecuted by enemies, found the safest sanctuary, having ensconced myself beneath your tabernacle, where neither friends nor enemies can slay my soul.

Bless my enemies, O Lord. Even I bless them and do not curse them.

They, rather than I, have confessed my sins before the world.

They have punished me, whenever I have hesitated to punish myself.

They have tormented me, whenever I have tried to flee torments.

They have scolded me, whenever I have flattered myself.

They have spat upon me, whenever I have filled myself with arrogance.

Bless my enemies, O Lord, Even I bless them and do not curse them.

Whenever I have made myself wise, they have called me foolish.

Whenever I have made myself mighty, they have mocked me as though I were a dwarf.

Whenever I have wanted to lead people, they have shoved me into the background.

Whenever I have rushed to enrich myself, they have prevented me with an iron hand.

Whenever I thought that I would sleep peacefully, they have wakened me from sleep.

Whenever I have tried to build a home for a long and tranquil life, they have demolished it and driven me out.

Truly, enemies have cut me loose from the world and have stretched out my hands to the hem of your garment.

Bless my enemies, O Lord. Even I bless them and do not curse them.

Bless them and multiply them; multiply them and make them even more bitterly against me:

so that my fleeing to You may have no return;

so that all hope in men may be scattered like cobwebs;

so that absolute serenity may begin to reign in my soul;

so that my heart may become the grave of my two evil twins, arrogance and anger;

so that I might amass all my treasure in heaven;

ah, so that I may for once be freed from self-deception, which has entangled me in the dreadful web of illusory life.

Enemies have taught me to know what hardly anyone knows, that a person has no enemies in the world except himself.

One hates his enemies only when he fails to realize that they are not enemies, but cruel friends.

It is truly difficult for me to say who has done me more good and who has done me more evil in the world: friends or enemies.

Therefore bless, O Lord, both my friends and enemies.

A slave curses enemies, for he does not understand. But a son blesses them, for he understands.

For a son knows that his enemies cannot touch his life.

Therefore he freely steps among them and prays to God for them.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

This man stole my moment

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/7999909.stm

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Mae hi'n bwrw glaw







I was just rained on for the first time in a while. I was checking the mail box and realized rain is utterly different in California. The rain is a part of the architecture of home and totally mundane. Here it brings with it something else, a feeling I can not put my finger on. The rain isn't at home here like it is in Britain. I miss feeling natures presence in my day to day life. I miss the drenched socks and stinging ears. I miss being able to really feel the world the way I did when I was totally subject to God's good earth. Not even the rain in New Orleans is the same, back home it feels like a constant comforting reminder of personal insignificance . A connection with the surrounding area's history occurs during a downpour.It is a strange visitor here, like me. The connection to the earth I had is lost here probably because I don't have a visible physical experience of man not being able to stop nature.